3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
