I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Fuck appropriateness.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
