I love black thongs
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Mom said you looked used
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
