well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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