At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize