I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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