oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
