No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
