So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
