Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
