i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
