New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
