I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
