i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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