where am i from again
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
