I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
