Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
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want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize