Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
