Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
