Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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