I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
