how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
