This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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