you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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