I'm so fucking centered right now
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
