The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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