is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
