small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize