What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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