i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
