i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
