Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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