Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
