Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
