The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
