the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
