Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
