Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
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does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
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He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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