things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Randomize
