You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
