found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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