Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
