My friends, they love my intelligence
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize