Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
