How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
