I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
