I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
