For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
