Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize