Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i think i have herpe
just one?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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