He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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