Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
