my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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