when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
