Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
