Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
