the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
