no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
