forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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