we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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