mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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