I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
